Since U ma Buddy~~~~

In my life I have 2 thing I really trying to protect until I death. Even I know i not a perfect person to hold the 2 thing but I still hard doing this. Since I’m kind a person really hard to show ma love and care well to other, I just keep it and show it in different way to other. Sometime I’m also look at what kind a person I face and what kind of communication I will use to that person 2. I can’t deny it that everything in ma life is about ma best buddy only, everything I doing and care just them, also when I have big secret I just could share with ma buddy. How bad I am coz couldn’t share everything with ma family member as well as I do it with ma buddy. I dunno how much I hurting ma family just to go to ma buddy and make all ma buddy happy. The moment with ma buddy really a best moment I have, I can share everything with them and all the problem they have 2, I dun care if ma buddy didn’t care or listen to me as well i do to them, as long as I still make them smile. Yup, I scared if one day I lost them and they leave me. Even I scared about that and trying to avoiding that from happened, I really can’t do anything now. Ma buddy is a human so they have a feeling and desired to do anything about their life. I can’t begging or force them just 2 back and looking at me now. Now one by one ma buddy just got happiness from their family. I also see all pic and their mini homepage, just a pic of all ma buddy and their family. On this moment how can I disturb and stop them? Looking at them back to their family, I realized it that I should back to my family 2 right? but since I just comfortable doing anything with ma buddy, it’s become so awkward for me to doing anything like ma buddy doing with their family easily. I dunno how to start talking about anything like I doing to ma buddy. Sometime I have thinking, why ma buddy betray me, before their also say that their have something that their can’t doing with their family comfortably like with me, the day I trying to share that feeling and heard everything with them, just vanish and now just leave me alone here. I know I couldn’t feel bad about that and I believed that everyone have own opinion and own desired to achieved in their life, so I shouldn’t being stupid to feel worse about that. I pray for ma buddy happiness and I also hope I will become easily feel comfortable with ma family one day. I can wish ma buddy happiness, but I know it’s hard for me actually . I dunno while I writing this I dropping ma tears, I dunno ma tears falling for what now. Even how, if I also silent here I really dun wan disturb ma buddy happiness and busy world, and if one day I just listen 2 one person, I didn’t meant to forget or didn’t care all ma buddy, coz once all ma buddy in ma heart it’s really hard for me to erase u all so please dun say that I forget and hate u anymore. Ma buddy, please asking me if u really mad about ma behavior if one day u heard me just say only one name, and that person is not u. if that happened that’s mean the person I only say have a same situation with me or the one I still comfortable to heard and listen their well actually, or maybe that person the one make me feel that I’m not a worse person in this world. About ma buddy I really meant it, in ma friendship I dun have any word to forget or throw ma buddy away easily or maybe trying to betray each of u. Each ma buddy have different personality so I just can follow each of u way and the way I treat u, It’s didn’t meant that I hate or u less person in ma heart. Nothing change when it’s about ma buddy, just the situation of us now. ‘ FRIEND IS MY MELODY IF I LOST U, MY MELODY WILL NOT PERFECT ANYMORE EVEN EVERYONE CAN HEARD THE MELODY BUT JUST ME KNOW THAT MELODY NOT PERFECT ’ *P/s- i hate when i just suddenly crying without reason!!!!!