The Site foR ma FIction ^^

i already create a new space for ma story....this is a link to ma another blog...all ma story in BAHASA ^^ - http://mieyuki.livejournal.com/765 - have a time to visit there k ^^

sinCe ma Heart foR u^^

Annyoung^^ Lately I totally going crazy,I dunno who the person I really love,I dunno what I should do too..ehy I become like this???? But everytime I saw ma first love,I feel worse and guilty,I scare if I lost him. Only sigh I could while I writing this…I dunno if I really forget ma first love now or not…yup,I know,I never see u for a long time now,but sometime I still heard about your story well here. Like some night before,I dunno with who I should look into the make my heart calm…so my finger suddenly type your name,and it make me smile alone while I see your pic. Sometime u give me strength to live in this world well,but why I could see only when I already got the strength from u…I just see other person in ma life now…day by day I just try get close with ma new person. I’m happy about it,I follow ma heart to make ma lige more bright,but in the bright moment I found the dark space in ma heart even it’s just a small space,I could do anything abt the space…ma heart got someone feeling that I could be so far if I act like this…something I feel like ma heart really not allow me to love other person than you,and ma heart want me known that the new person I try to know just a bcoz I dunno him well,I just know the person name and how mch he improve to survive in the hard world…but background,sad,happy and mad moment I still reach it from the new person…I also know even ma heart not block me from love other too. I just act cool to love other,but my heart hurt a lot when I smile to other person,coz I hope I will see you now,and I hope u will heard me well too….dream,dream and dream,it keep repet in ma mind now…dream make me grow well now…Yunho oppa…how I could forget you if you already conquer my heart…how I could forget your name easily??? Even I disappointed with u before,even u could heard me,even u can’t see ma heart,even u smile to other,even u dunno my existent…how????? I just can love u now…could I get new love if like this???? Huhuhuhuhuhu…..oppaaaaa~~~~ could i ger new love happily if i'm like this??? oppa...ottokae???? na moeri neoooooooomu apa....huhuhuhuhu.... <3 uri Heaven postmen...did u understadn it??? aigooo...why it become hard for me loh...did u have a situation like me too????

Run to U

TOK,TOK!!anyounggggggg~~~~ (^__^) *everyone saranghae* -Blank-................dunno what i can doing right now, i just dun have any idea to doing a right thing now. when i try to finish ma video, i got trouble abt slow movement of ma lappy right now coz so many thg ma lappy need to update right now. so i gv up...... *mental breakdown* oh ya, i'm glad tht one of ma buddy jst mssge me now, so it's not make me death in bored situation (hahahaha (^O^)). looking at the person who sent me mssge mk me smile in silent. i dunno wht kind a feeling is this (@_@). ~baby baby run to u lalalala~ ma song list right now also play a song tht mk me wan to dance, wht kinda situation loh it's same like a drama whr a happiness happen in the drama will hv a happy BGM like now, so i just lalalalalalala with the song to loh^^. dunno wht i can share, so i just end here loh ^^ hahahahahaha *out of mind*

annyongiiiiii (^______________________^) dah lama gile xupdate story kat sini, bukan pe since remove to new house, all ma connection with internet just lost for a while, but now, tak yah nak worry agi coz i'm back with new connection here ^^ *hohohohohihihihi*. so now i will download the thing i like loh ^^ back to the story i really wan to share actually i feel so sad....i hope one of ma fav buddy will miss me, but i'm wrong, coz the thing i hope just crush ma heart *why?why?why?!!!* i know she might forget abt me perfectly like this,the day really come to me. the thing i afraid most, just face me now. b'coz of tht, i afrd to see thing related to her. on the day i sent her mssge, i dunno wht her reaction, but it's same like i'm just disturb her life now, i nearly cry,but i keep strong to face it well. when i try to express wht to her, she same change the topic as well as she can. b'coz of tht i just ignore the anger feeling and just reply the mssge she sent. i dunno if she alrdy change evrythng or just i'm so emotional towards her. i know our age alrdy diffrnt now and not like bfr, we can laugh,sad and fight. now i belived when we stop from meet each other and also contact each othr, everythng just come to the end one day, even we not willing accptd it, but we can't do anythg when it happend. to u, thanks to be my fav buddy in ma life,but until my breath stop i never remove u from ma fav buddy, i really can't do that even ma mouth say it.....

BACK ^^

annyoung~~~~ lama rasanYe xUPdaTE ma BloG ni~~ duNNo whaT i BusY iN loh....(JusT SleeP,watcH draMa,buY stuFF,PlaY gamE,eDiT VideO) now i really haVe aLot iDea to doiNg buT duNNo whiCH oNe i sHouLd doinG firsT...haisss TT_TT so i End dengAn TyPe sOme sTorY LiL biT anD thaN LisTen soNg + TryiNg to WriTe a soNg Lyrics...i just doing so many ThinG daLam saTu maSa so ChaoS in Ma MiND now... ummm...oh Ya, i just fiNisH frOm watcH aLL ma ViDeo maKer,and Smile aLone looK how muCh improvement in doing BetteR video Loh ^____^ (that i Perasaan sendiri ?,?) da~ whatever.... oh ya,lately ma old buddies ada ask about ma life...umm,what i can say just i'm like before loh,nothing change and nothing forget about keeee~~~ actually, i know the top question ma buddieS wan asKing loH...i Know ma Buddies wiLL asKinG about ma partner(boyfriend/lover)..haisss...heard that i start to lie firstly...but i just burst out of laugh, cause i got goosebump when talking about lover (but if ma lover is OPPA/kpop idol different). when ma buddies knows the truth ma buddies out of tantrum hahahahaha~~~~~~ what the most i hate when we talk about past,ma buddies start talk about the person i totally forget well and keep make me remember the face well!!! argggg!!!! apart from that,ma buddies also start suggest me to introduce me to someone, but hardly i refuse about that,why i do that,because i just try to hold ma fate now, i belived someone already fate to me but dunno when,where and who right, why we need to rush in matters like that??? anything will come to us we just need be patient....aigoooo i REaLLY HATE wHEn SoMEONe TRyiNG tO be matChMAker foR me LoHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! m(><)m ummmm, let me end here loh,i thought ma Idea come NoW~~~ annyong~ (─‿‿─)

everything Under ControL@@@@@@

annyoung^^

since i work at nusery ni,feel like i'm really going CraZy...hahahaha....i run around at d nusery like a kid thr and play alot + sleep alot..kikikikiki
but sometime i feel like i really getting old day by day,haisssss~~~ that a worse part to compared it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

oh ya,i dunno it become a habit evryday i meet all d kid, i wan to mk thy cry hahahaha evn for a while....kikikiki sometime i will teased them with d thg they scared a lot...hahahaha....when thy start cry i will hug and kiss them alot...tht d reason i lov to teased thm alot..and aftr tht,all of them will gv alot lov to us....kikikikiki~~~ (ths is not a good way to treat kid actly haissssss~)

sometime when i bored i like to force certain kid to kiss or hug me...hahahahaha!!!!how cute thy are when they obey to our request kyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa~~~~~~~~~~~~
yup,they all also hv a certain cute side and behavior. first,

- Hafiz who love to lie face downward at d floor while shake his butt several time ^^,

- Faris Azaman aka 'POkcik' who love to teased everyone,when d person his teased cry,he will trying to sake forgiveness at d person.

- Adib Asyraf who can't talk well,it's really hard to understand wht his say,we need more focus to understand it but he love to talk and copy wht adult person talk espcly whn i scold othr kid coz wht d mistake thy do.

- Qasandra,kikikikiki...when heard her name,i alwys thought abt indo actress name...she had a cute nickname. i called her Dada..kakakakaka...d weird and cute thg she had is when she cry. d way to stop her from cry,just need to told her tht she is a cute little kid, like i alwys do 'waaaa,dada ni comel,cantik rambut dada'. aftr say like tht,she jst stop from crying and will stick with us..hahahaha~~~~


- oh ya,also twins, i not sure abt d twins name,coz since i come at d nursery,i jst heard evryone called them as 'abang kembor' and 'adik kembor', but when i check at the registration form of twins, i realized tht they had a good name,one is a Adib Darish and one is Adib darwish,but i dunno who is darish and who is darwish..ummmmm. the best part abt twins,both of them is so active,they will not stop run until we scold them to stop. and lately i just get information from twins mom that d twins cannot eat somethg sweet like chocolate,coz tht thg will mk them more active....oooooo (O.o)...even how,d twins alws b a trouble-maker at d nursery...without our attention they could destroy d nursery i thought (^O^) kakakkakaka~~~~

- Afiq Zarif...this kid really weird and i thought his know tht evryone love him well in wht his do. sometm i call him a free soul,cz he will go everywhr and sit evrywhr he love. he also can lay down when evryone busy eat...kikikikikikiki...this kid,so easy guy u know,cz when we ask for kiss he will quickly gv direct kiss to the person and make a sound like 'mmmm' aftr kisss....kyaaaaaa~~~~ from the kid like crying when no one around him,he bcome a strong kid i knw now ^^

ummmm that's all abt kid around 1-4 years,but sometm i will take care d baby around 1-12 month. d baby also hv a cute side i know,like Jazlan,who know lov hahahaha...why i say like tht,coz,Jazlan alwys hit othr girl but not one a baby girl thr call 'Senah'.he will protect tht girl,also welling share d toys,but when othr come trying grab the toys from 'senah' hand,he will hit them....kyaaaaa~~~ cool Jazlan...and i also can see a leader personality in Jazlan,cz when he start play,and doing somethg,everyone will follow his and ply together....kyaaaaaaaaaa^^


haissss,if i want to share abt them,it's still more,but myb i will continue later ok...tht some story i could share with ma heaven posmen,hope u like and lov my new world ok^^

The child i wan ^^

Yoochun oppa so smart boy lohhhhh~~~~ hahahaha~~~i hope i have brother like u ^^


kyaaaa~~~~ this is ma boy loh~~~ ma sweety bunny bun poing poing~~~ loverrrrr!!! yunhooooo oppaaaaaaaaaaaaa~~~~~


omo!!! ma Junsu oppa,why u so cuteeeeeeeeeeee!!! make me crazyyyyyyy....ilove itttttttttttttttttttttttt!!!!!


Changminie oppaso cute~~ kyaaaa~~~~


hahaha~~~ i hope i have baby like u Jeajoong Oppa~~~ (^_~)


if u have son,which do u prefer he be? and how is it????? i hope i have 5 sons like them...kyaaaaaaaaaaaaaa~~~~~ dream of tonight before close ma eyessssssssssssssss!!!!!
i wan all gather in my dream and become ma sonssssssssssssssssssssssss!!!!!!!!!!

CrazY~

Again we COINCINDENTALLY meet in the street, LOOKING at u make me TREMBLING a lot. When u see me like that maybe u though that I’m still LOVE u and want u BACK. Actually what u see me like this, it is because of I AFRAID u might make me CRAZY with what u DESIRE from me. Deep in my HEART, I really want to SCREAM out that it isn’t a LOVE like u though because it’s just your ATTACHMENT. I quickly AVOIDING your eyes to make u UNDERSTAND it, but I WRONG, doing that just make u more INTERESTED to though it’s really about I could LIVE WITHOUT u now. LISTEN to u WORDS really just ANNOYING me right now. Why u couldn’t UNDERSTAND? Why u being STUPID because of something u can’t ACCEPT?. That’s why, every WORDS out from u MOUTH same nothing EFFECT to me now. I’m going little bit RELIEF when u start open your step from me. The RELIEF just for a MOMENT to me, because wherever I am, and whatever I do now, I know u’re WATCHING me. THINK about it, I feel so SCARED.

It’s now same like just u know me well, before u do that to me, I already know well about u. someone like u always do something everyone can’t EXPECT. I know since u back and since I meet u again, u will try HARD to get in TOUCH with me again, maybe u could FOLLOW my step and CALL me everyday under ANONYMOUS status. I dunno what u FEEL when u do that, when u FOLLOW my FOOTSTEP could u FEEL u can stay by my side? And when u HEARD my BREATHING SOUND on your phone when u do that, could it already make u HAPPY?. Every night u come near to my house and under a TURN OFF street light in front of my house u just WATCH me through my window room. LOOKING at u doing that, again I TREMBLING and AFRAID, so I try HARD to HIDE from u couldn’t see me, even of my SHADOW I will not let u see it too. Do u know I’m really TIRED doing this every night. Have u gone CRAZY? Why are u like this?. From my HIDE space now, I just can CRY in FEAR pray for u STOP it and leave me ALONE.

After a night, I could BREATH again and come out from my HIDE space. I LOOK out at my window and take a deep BREATH now. Why? Why u still can’t UNDERSTAND? Why u be so STUPID? Do u know, when I see u FACE now, I get SUFFOCATED. When day come to, I just HOPE that u will get AWAY from my SIGHT anymore. But I realize it same like I can’t ESCAPED from u since u BACK, which u same HOPING that I’m will just LOVE u. even I RUN AWAY now, it same u still can see me and in your MIND same like u PROUD about u really know me BETTER. See u behave like that I know, u really want I LOOK at u but I can’t and didn’t want to do that because I don’t wanna CRY no more.

Day by day already past, but why u still like this? Please, just get AWAY from me I’m really can’t BREATH like this. What I can do to STOP your CRAZINESS now? ,STOP making a call to me, cause even a THOUSAND missed call from u I receive, I will not PICK it up. I will not FORGET since the day I meet u until now, I know it already a THOUSAND day since that and u also want prepared me a PRESENT that I’ll like. So that’s why u just SITTING at the ROAD which I often walk, WAITING for me and again HOPING a LOVE from me. My step just STOP LOOKING u there, I can’t think anything to do right now even to try RUN AWAY. U just APPROCH me and try to let me receive what in your hand now. I really can’t ACCEPT it, just ANNOYING face I give u in that MOMENT. Your ANGER face CLEARLY I can see at that MOMENT, suddenly u just screm out that what u doing to me now it’s not same like what I though is u just ATTACHMENT , and u don’t want I say that everything u doing now just make me CRAZY. Repetly u told me, that I really can’t BREAK AWAY from u.how STUBBORN u in front of me to make I BELIVED with u WORDS again. Both your hand at my shoulder, u act same like someone can’t DISTINGUISH between FICTION and REALITY. What u know just want me SAY that I still need u and LOVE u. could u STOP all the NONSENSE talk and THINK now? .I HOPE u come to your SENSE back, STOP everything and let me GO from your MEMORY.

Since u act like that to, I CLEARLY know, everything now, it’s really not a LOVE, but u just HURTING me a lot. With a HEARTLESS perception in your eyes from me, I just GO WITHOUT LOOKING at u and throw AWAY your present. I can FEEL on that MOMENT u not FOLLOW my step anymore.

In my room, I sit at my bed and hug my favorite stuff tighly and let my TEARS wet my face. I WHISPERING to my stuff about u. where I can’t DENY about before when I make PROMISE to u about I will LOVE u FOREVER, I really MEANT to be, but now I really MEANT to be to that I can’t LOVE and don’t LOVE u anymore. Please FORGIVE me and FORGET me from your MEMORIES, even u say u will WAITING for me FOREVER it really can’t CHANGE my LOVE towards u again. Our story already END since I told u to BREAK UP, I already make new PROMISE to myself now, I don’t wanna CRY no more.

~ LOVE is my FRIEND ~

It’s already a long TIME since I know and STAY by your side like this. Do u know, since that TIME my HEART began to change little by little towards u. I know u cannot see through my HEART well, but my HEART keep ACHING inside when see u with another person. U HOLD and create a SWEET moment with the person. Every moment u have with the person, u also SHARE it with me. I can see how HAPPY u SHARE everything about the person with me, I can’t DENY it that I could STOP u from the person now.

But one day u come to me, your EYES filling with TEARS. By my side, u just CRY. I cannot see u HAPPY face right now. On that time, see u like this I could STOP from to began HATE the person more. U just SHOW your TEARS to me now, LOOKING at u like that I start WHISPERED to myself, it might be BETTER for me to be there for u and I also start THINK that now I want to be the ONE to HOLD u and LOVE u.
I could LOOK into your SAD face anymore, more TEARS u SHOW to me, it’s MORE HURTING me like CRAZY now. Day by day I PRAY that u will come to me and know my LOVE towards u because I already STOOD by u for FAR too long and WITHOUT saying a WORD I just HIDING this ACHING HEART of MINE.

I dunno why WITHOUT u LISTEN any WORDS from me to, u just keep TEELING me to be your FRIEND and keep stay by your side as a GOOD FRIEND u know FOREVER. U know, because u keep TELLING me that, I couldn’t TELL u how I really FEEL to u and what I can do just keep it inside my HEART. THINKING of WORD u want me to be to u, every night I couldn’t sleep well like u. again I just stand from FAR LOOKING at u face and CONFESS alone to myself about I LOVE u more and more.

Why? Why everytime u see me, u GREET me with your HAPPINESS and SHINING face, u also HOLDING my hand TIGHTLY and told me that no ONE else like me could be your FRIEND which UNDERSTAND and can COMFORT u when u in TROUBLE. Your BLESSING WORD about I’m your FRIEND really make u SMILE HAPPILY, no one can make your SMILE like that. Again I couldn’t do anything about it and LOOKING u like that to me, I just SUPRESS my LOVE to u. I UNDERSTAND it, only this can make u STAY by my side to because if I couldn’t CONTROL and let everything out, I AFRAID that i will LOSING u one day.
LOOKING at the SKY with u now, really a GOOD MOMENT I had in my LIFE. It’s more BETTER than I should face your SAD face. Do u know, how much u could SMILE everytime u with me? And how much u FEEL fine inside after SHARE what u want with me?, yes I know, MOMENT like this between u and me, just a picture of GOOD FRIEND FOREVER in your MIND.

mystery Mystery ^^

Annyoung ^^
My eyes couldn’t close yet,so I just listen some song here alone. Tonight is so cool,bcoz of the rain really pleasant me.
The song keep playing and change in my playlist of song right now,and like usually to all my list of song just a Korean song….wow~~ so fantasticccccccccccccccccccccc Q(^_^Q) i LOVE it so much!!!!!
What I wan to share not about song I heard right now,but something keep disturb my mind lately. I dunno why everyone around me lately keep asking about my partner and why i still single in the age everyone should in LOVE (that what some of the person I know thought). Waaaa~ it’s so annoying to me,why I should be in love and why keep told me to not be single anymore??? Why??? I could understand it will now….and also keep asking me what kind a type of man I like repetly,but when I told how my type of man I wan they just told that I so choose and had a high taste. The type I really like so much also will be just a dream for me. That what they also told me to…acammm~
What I can say,i’m not give up or hate to being in love,but what I can say,maybe I dun have any fate yet to fallen in love now. Enough with someone could make me smile widely lately…kikikikiki…the person I mean is a Shim Changmin and Jung wooyoung…aigooo~ dunno how I can change my heart to the both of them lately. Arggggggggggggggggggggg!!!!! Stresssssssssssssssssssssss!!!!!!! (@! @)
even lately I didn’t messed my glance to the both of them,I still put my LOVEY DOVEY no 1 in my heart. Who else if not Jung Yunhooooooooooooooooooo oppa!!!! Yup I can’t control my eyes from keep staring at other guy to,especially lately so many younger idol keep coming at stage…hahahahaha~~~.(omo that mean I keep being noona loh (TT__TT))
Why I say I still can’t forget Jung yunho well even it’s going so far now for me to reach him (haiss~ I talk like i already couple with him and like him know me (o.O)). Sometime when I feel worse when everyone keep talking about they partner and keep asking me about this to,the warm of Yunho come in my mind first,not Shim Changmin or Jung Wooyoung but Yunhooooooooo!!! It’s so amazing. How can I let he go from me even I always forget he sometime,that will call my fate??? Or what….the day I cry from someone hurting me well and the day someone give me hope but we had a different fate and path…Jung Yunho come to my dream,give a sweet smile and same like he trying courage me well there. The place I dunno where,the day I dunno when, just me and Yunho oppa there which give me glow and make me realized what I should go and do now.
Even I dun have a answer to the question person asking why im single,I still belived that someone more perfect and fine to me will come. Even I dunno the day and the time,it will happened to me one day right. So just let me live as i can now,stop disturb me with annoying question,and trying to match me with other person,I just belived with my way now.

{Ummmm….that mean I really crazy fan right~….i thought that what my PH (postmen heaven) will saying to me right….oh ya,this situation also happened to u my PH? Do u have any star u proud about them and become like me to?i really dunno u well right my PH,so let me know if u have one k (^_~)V}

Like this or That~

annyoung~

since i involved in other world,i got lil bit shock.....i dunno why someone i know always talk about guy???? it's okey to talk about them sometime but not always!!! arggggg...it's more better i heard someone already married talk about her husband only than someone dun have any relationship yet talk about another person different sex than them.... TT__TT
sometime i got wonder,what other person thought when heard about this kind a person talk about guy well...sometime i need to pretend as i listen all,but actually i'm not. even i'm always be naughty and act like know everything about someone different sex than me i'm still feel wekkk~ (actly i really know well abt real side of guy espcly negative think n stupid thought from them to other different sex) to heard a fantasy love story...aigooooo~~~~
and i also heard something make me mad from my buddies. haisss~~ (-_-")....one of my friend(guy)he lately going strange about he life. i couldn't understand why he messy he own life with another problem???why? what i know,he really need a job now,but when he failed all job interview,he start choice a wrong path! he busy he life with a LOVE story and involved other problem which he dunno that person well(chatting friend from FB). becoz of that,he take all the chatting friend told him seriously...waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!! totallly dumb guy!!!!! how can ask a dumb question to my buddies too? u don't have any pride??? do u blind or just act blind???? how easily u belived in chatting friend u just know????? what the hell???!!!! u a guy,but just be a dumb guy i know~~~~ even u told my buddies that u already broke-up with u GF?????? what?what??????.....
the most weakness u guy is so rely with other and can't solve it by yourself! how stupid u guy! u need a good listener my buddies trying to be the best and adviced u as well as she can,but in the end u be so rude to her and like trying to told everyone that my buddies do a big mistake to u after she got fed-up with u nonsense problem!!!!! i hate this kind of person who just give a trouble to other and not listen what other person told,u act like a pro but doing a stupidessssssssssssss thing in the world,if u act like that,i don't think u can survive in this world anymore and maybe one day u will be a bigger loser i know!!!!!!
how can u ruin your life bcoz a stupid problem...i really dunno what kind a person he is actually!!!!!!! geeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~~~~~ so hate it!!!!!!!!

We Didn'T meanT to Be

annyoung~^^

he back....but i dunno he just forget everything or act he doing well now. i couldn't read he face anymore coz he didn't try to look into me. from this corner i just watching he back well too,look at he smile make me smile little bit. and i talk to myself....'he finally know that what i wan and he could live well now'.
suddenly i noticed a sad eyes watching me now,i scared to look back and just act that i really dun care him anymore what he doing and how he now,i don't care. yup! i belived i really can do it and live well now,if i can't do it,i the one will back to him. the feeling i feel right now when we meet again now just the feeling i scared if u going crazy but i know u can hold everything well....u are really a matured guy i know now,totally different than before.
even this a short meeting of our,we just all alredy know what the right and not....again before u go,i just can talk by myself. 'how are u?' 'how your life?' 'u really a true man which can fight old memory well,im proud of u'. but everything just stuck in my mouth,coz that a better well to us.
someone always say,sometime the old memory can vanished well when both of us can think positive and why we in this destiny. absolutely u not my destiny and u too right. so i will waiting for real destiny i will go one day,and u too~ Q(^_^Q)

My love GonE agaiN

lately i start to love as i can,but this week i heard he gone and will not come anymore. that mean we can't see each other anymore. i pretend to be strong and keep a sadness feeling inside me. also i keep smiling like i happy heard that i will not see he again. i can't cry like a stupid person now, i can't do anything (-V-). woooo~~~ clap to myself (*__*),how can i be so strong like this? or maybe i'm so heartless???? i really dunno...oh my heaven posmen could u belived i do this? i dunno why to,i thought that i dun have a strong reason to cry just of that.why i be like that???? i dun have a good reason to explain this situation. sometime silently i look at he pic, like a stupid person again i start feel something not right, it's same like something wrong at my heart i feel lil bit pain and couldn't breath well. the feeling make me annoying and i just ignore it and stop looking at the pic anymore. waaaaa~~~~ how i can describe the situation and feeling. maybe u know what right my Heaven Posmen ^^

i couldn't say anything abt it,that's why i hate to start love someone with my heart liek this,coz i just hurting myself well right....(TT___TT)
........