it's Should Be The EnD

To my heaven postmen~~~ It’s same like really a long time I never sent you a new story right? How you there? That you have a good journey? I don’t think that I’m really busy to wrote something to you, but I just realized that I nearly forget that you’re there for hear any story from me right??? Umm, yup I have some new story for you my heaven postmen, this time it’s about that girl who really stupid, who just think about what that girl really forget it about. What I know, that girl just already forget about that person well now. But suddenly that girl got some news about that person, that girl just trying hard to ignore everything. Act cool and pretend nothing will effect in that girl life anymore. Day by day, that girl just acting cool, but one night while that girl looking at the night cloud which there have a small shining star, the tears from that girl eyes nearly fall. Realized it, that girl quickly be strong and looking down and walk away. That girl also know that she could lie her heart as well as she told herself that nothing affect her. Why that girl being a stupid again? Just hardly deny that nothing will affect her, but in the end she just fallen in the sadness hole again. The news about that person will engaged, that girl should be happy about it. Because finally that person could let go that girl right? . The ceremony maybe not a first time for that person, but this time that girl really can’t understand what that person trying to hiding this from her and why that person told her sister , which that girl shouldn’t know about the ceremony because that person worry to hurting that girl again. That person really doesn’t learn everything yet. Why that person should care about that girl heart anymore?. Since the day that girl heard that, that girl trying hard force herself to ignore it and don’t got involved in that person matter anymore. After a long day too, that girl starting feel weird about her heart again. Why silently that girl feel little by little the achiness inside her heart? Even that girl ignore that feeling as she can, it’s made that girl become harder to breath now. How stupid that girl, why think and take it serious again. It’s really a long time between that girl and that person didn’t contact each other, and because of that too, that girl just forget about anonymous number which up in her phone and answer it. When she does that, nothing that girl heard from the caller. In that situation, yup that girl knows who it is. Before that girl act cruel to the caller, she just heard the voice which she hopes will not heard it again. Heard that voice from the caller, that girl knows that person again hold his tears behind his nervous voice. Why that person should do that? Nothing will change that girl heart anymore. That girl already set her mind to not affect by that person anymore, also everything has been done a few years ago. Nobody will hurt anymore. Congratulation, that what that girl could saying to that person now. Even that person didn’t give any respond. From that person breath on the phone, it’s clearly that person could hold his tear anymore. So, in the end that girl quickly ends the conversation. After do that, that girl received a message from that person. ’ Why you still use this number? Did you still hoping for my call? That you missed me?’. How dare that person send massage like that to that girl? Where he got confident to write something liked that?. That girl can’t deny, that person still didn’t change his promise, but even how, for that girl, every step and movement that person choose and make will not mean anything anymore. Only one thing that girl reply to that person. ‘please don’t hoping anything, even I didn’t change my number, it’s didn’t mean that I hoping something from you bro, I found my path now, I will achieved everything now while looking at your goal and your own happiness, couldn’t you find your happiness? You didn’t the one could hurt me now. I have someone will doing that to me now. This time I didn’t lie to you too, it’s real. I worry if you spy me just I told you this, but before again you doing something I hate, I really don’t want, your past story disturb my new life, so please stay in what you doing now, just be a good person and obey to the person also be next you’ That girl, just write everything where it’s look like she really fine and like she really in the top of happiness, but what the meaning when she just fallen some tears behind the all lies she create?. That person again just didn’t saying anything again. Yes, that really the end between that girl and that person. That person seem like could understand it right. That’s what that girl wants too. Hurting, painess, tears, lies, could it end here? That girl just hoping that she will never heard about that person anymore, even she has pray for that before but this time will become the last. Just being the last one. Even that person will going nonsense again, that girl will not waver towards that person, and also nothing will made that person going childishness. That person also can think as a matured person right?. Yup, again inside that girl heart, she also the same, could avoiding the fears and worries towards that person again. That girl again just praying for the last episode her and that person again. Please just end the story between that person anymore. Sometime behind the tears, that girl just expresses a small regret. ‘Why she should meet that person before? Why she the one walling to heard that person sadness and looking his tears falling? Why she also the one give her hand to that person? And also why she the one who just following that person for satisfied his desired. Even it’s starting just for helping that person from doing a wrong thing in his life, why it’s should end and create a ridiculous story where no one will believed and want to heard it, neither it’s from that person or that girl’

It is will end here right?. That what that girl hoping again. To my heaven postmen, did you think it will end here now?. Aufff, how poor that girl. What I can say to that girl, just stopping being stupid anymore. Just stop thinking and going something more meaning in your life dear. How about you my heaven postmen? Oh ya, thank you to that girl cause you has a courage to share it with me. Hope you will find new life and new episode for ya life k. kikikikikiki ^___^

That GirL Heart ~~~

To my heaven postmen …I have some story to share about,it’s about that girl and her confusion heart….. That girl is really worse to handle love when it’s come,she also dunno how to face it well…but one day when she attracted with that guy,she really being a stupid person. That girl dunno how to express it,but suddenly she just could express what her feeling with quarrel witht that guy. That girl totally crazy doing thing like this just because she dunno to express her love. Now already 8 years,but that girl still keep her feeling towards that guy,even that girl and that guy stay as friend also can contact each other well,that girl really can’t do anything about her feeling. For the 8 years that girl endure the pain inside alone. That girl belived,that guy also have a same feeling towards her. Fate always come to that girl and that guy,but that girl still endured the pain about how much she hold that guy inside her heart,even that guy couldn’t see that girl always protect him like a shadow,that girl feel fine about it. In the same time,that girl also hurting another person heart,now that girl also feel guilty about that,even the person she hurting well say that he already happy and feel worse about he love towards that girl,sometime make that girl feel really bad now. Why the person that girl hurting say he still can’t forget about his love to that girl,even he already have some who always make he happy?? That girl keep wonder,why that person also feel worse in what he choose now,nothing to feel guilty about it actually….this is because that girl totally in love with that guy,and because of that,that girl always be a bad person when it come about love. Now that person still contact that girl and try to confess about his past feeling and the thing make that girl most scary about when that person told even how far he go now,deep inside his heart still he couldn’t rip that girl. What kind of love make a someone suffer and strunggle like this? That girl nearly crazy and sometime she decide to stay alone until that girl again ready to face reality. When that girl nearly to give up about that guy,how can that guy exist and give hope which make that girl can’t let that guy go? Every night that girl just hold the phone in hand and look at the screen think about ‘that she should sent some message to that guy or not?’. That girl just keep doing that until she fall sleep without she noticed. Why that girl just can’t stop from looking at that guy only? What a special thing about that guy make that girl like this? Dear heaven postmen …could that girl stay at her position and looking at that guy like this again,even that girl near to that guy,she know,she can’t reach to the that guy right? How poor love like this,what should I do to that girl???? My heaven postmen,I wonder if that girl could stand or not if one day that guy going married with another person,could be that girl will destroy right? Or maybe that girl will calm and just accepted it well?....the love that girl keep for that guy already 8 years….if that really happened…I scared if that girl more hurting than now dear heaven postmen ….

What Happened To mE????

Annyong ^^… It’s really a long time I didn’t write anything at my blog…but now I really missed it a lot <3 …… 2012,now leave me….so many memory I leave too……now 2013,I dunno why I still stand at same spot….when I look at all my friend,I realized how much life change they are than me. Everyone already have a right goal to achieve……but me really confused,that I’m already stand at a right goal? Because of that,now I feel that I’m more fine and comfortable when I just stay at my room alone and sit infront my lappy writing something. I can create something happily and share with everyone I dunno there. I still fine to meet anyone outside my room,cause I can still play a role as human. I know that I always think negative everytime I meet someone now,but I can control it well to stay what I think only at my mind. I always heard someone told me that I’m cheerful type person when they are meet me for a first time,yup I thankful for the person say me like that. This year I dunno why I just think that is okay if I could make anyone know me and around me happy,always put a smile when talk to me and share a problem with me…….my world going so weird and little bit dark inside here,why I’m like this? I really dunno why….before I could control my tears fallen,but now I realized I really become a hard human to cry or feel sad about something,even I watch a sad story,I couldn’t….i worry if one day I lost my happiness and I being more hard person than now. Looking at a time past it’s same like a nothing to me now….what happened to me??? I dunno if I ruined my life or what…or maybe I give up???? I dun have a answer to myself sometime….i have thought before if I could be invisible if I stand at around person,maybe it’s more fine to me right?......oh ya,I forget about sometime that make me more fine this year….kid,when I play around with them,I thought that how much fun if I could become like them back….freely to do anything and also don’t need to worry about anything….how cute when see the kid run freely and doing just think about to play only….that’s why kid always got special treatment from adults….everytime I scream to kid who do wrong,they are just start cry before I really punish them…and because of that,I can’t do anything but just keep mad with my mouth….haisss…if I could doing a same thing like them,could I will fine now??????? I wonder how much longer I will stand like this…….to my postmen heaven,i'm so sorry....(TT_TT)