That GirL Heart ~~~

To my heaven postmen …I have some story to share about,it’s about that girl and her confusion heart….. That girl is really worse to handle love when it’s come,she also dunno how to face it well…but one day when she attracted with that guy,she really being a stupid person. That girl dunno how to express it,but suddenly she just could express what her feeling with quarrel witht that guy. That girl totally crazy doing thing like this just because she dunno to express her love. Now already 8 years,but that girl still keep her feeling towards that guy,even that girl and that guy stay as friend also can contact each other well,that girl really can’t do anything about her feeling. For the 8 years that girl endure the pain inside alone. That girl belived,that guy also have a same feeling towards her. Fate always come to that girl and that guy,but that girl still endured the pain about how much she hold that guy inside her heart,even that guy couldn’t see that girl always protect him like a shadow,that girl feel fine about it. In the same time,that girl also hurting another person heart,now that girl also feel guilty about that,even the person she hurting well say that he already happy and feel worse about he love towards that girl,sometime make that girl feel really bad now. Why the person that girl hurting say he still can’t forget about his love to that girl,even he already have some who always make he happy?? That girl keep wonder,why that person also feel worse in what he choose now,nothing to feel guilty about it actually….this is because that girl totally in love with that guy,and because of that,that girl always be a bad person when it come about love. Now that person still contact that girl and try to confess about his past feeling and the thing make that girl most scary about when that person told even how far he go now,deep inside his heart still he couldn’t rip that girl. What kind of love make a someone suffer and strunggle like this? That girl nearly crazy and sometime she decide to stay alone until that girl again ready to face reality. When that girl nearly to give up about that guy,how can that guy exist and give hope which make that girl can’t let that guy go? Every night that girl just hold the phone in hand and look at the screen think about ‘that she should sent some message to that guy or not?’. That girl just keep doing that until she fall sleep without she noticed. Why that girl just can’t stop from looking at that guy only? What a special thing about that guy make that girl like this? Dear heaven postmen …could that girl stay at her position and looking at that guy like this again,even that girl near to that guy,she know,she can’t reach to the that guy right? How poor love like this,what should I do to that girl???? My heaven postmen,I wonder if that girl could stand or not if one day that guy going married with another person,could be that girl will destroy right? Or maybe that girl will calm and just accepted it well?....the love that girl keep for that guy already 8 years….if that really happened…I scared if that girl more hurting than now dear heaven postmen ….

What Happened To mE????

Annyong ^^… It’s really a long time I didn’t write anything at my blog…but now I really missed it a lot <3 …… 2012,now leave me….so many memory I leave too……now 2013,I dunno why I still stand at same spot….when I look at all my friend,I realized how much life change they are than me. Everyone already have a right goal to achieve……but me really confused,that I’m already stand at a right goal? Because of that,now I feel that I’m more fine and comfortable when I just stay at my room alone and sit infront my lappy writing something. I can create something happily and share with everyone I dunno there. I still fine to meet anyone outside my room,cause I can still play a role as human. I know that I always think negative everytime I meet someone now,but I can control it well to stay what I think only at my mind. I always heard someone told me that I’m cheerful type person when they are meet me for a first time,yup I thankful for the person say me like that. This year I dunno why I just think that is okay if I could make anyone know me and around me happy,always put a smile when talk to me and share a problem with me…….my world going so weird and little bit dark inside here,why I’m like this? I really dunno why….before I could control my tears fallen,but now I realized I really become a hard human to cry or feel sad about something,even I watch a sad story,I couldn’t….i worry if one day I lost my happiness and I being more hard person than now. Looking at a time past it’s same like a nothing to me now….what happened to me??? I dunno if I ruined my life or what…or maybe I give up???? I dun have a answer to myself sometime….i have thought before if I could be invisible if I stand at around person,maybe it’s more fine to me right?......oh ya,I forget about sometime that make me more fine this year….kid,when I play around with them,I thought that how much fun if I could become like them back….freely to do anything and also don’t need to worry about anything….how cute when see the kid run freely and doing just think about to play only….that’s why kid always got special treatment from adults….everytime I scream to kid who do wrong,they are just start cry before I really punish them…and because of that,I can’t do anything but just keep mad with my mouth….haisss…if I could doing a same thing like them,could I will fine now??????? I wonder how much longer I will stand like this…….to my postmen heaven,i'm so sorry....(TT_TT)