WaCoo~~~
dO eVryOnE FeeL baD weN sOmEoNe coMe tO u aNd staRt coNfess LoVe feeLinG toWardS u...anD thaN u refuSed to accepT iT?..in AdditiOn, The persOn doiNg thT iS oNe oF yoR besTfrieNd...??????
n sOmetiMes becaUse oF thaT yOr frieNdshiP wiLL be ruiN to riGhT?...foR me noW, if SoMeoNe i sTiLL caLL friEnd n aLwayS bY my siDe aS a FrieNd...i wOuLd accpet thE persOn tO bE mY LoVe oNe day, mAyBe iT wiLL haRd FoR me tO staRt coMmuniCatEd wiTh tHe peRsoN aGaiN..buT soMeoNe whO i didn'T caLL thE persOn as a FrieNd n mayBe juSt a soMeoNe reaLLy noT sO cLose wiTh me,aNd noT aLwys exisT iN mY liST oF friEnd oR wE jUsT mE aT cLass Or aNywHr, buT stiLL soMeoNe i KnoW, maYbe it'S oK fOr mE to accpEt it...anD hOw aBt OtHer persOn OpiNioN????...eVerYoNe sTiLL a HumAn riGht? aNd stiLL caN thiNk whiCh a riGht Or noT...maYbE sOmeOne wiLL juDge tHat iM bE sO harSh tO othEr PersON heaRt righT? buT iF i'm ReaLLy coMfoRtaBLe staY bY u SiDe aS mY friEnd, HoW caN i Do? for Me sOmEoNE caN be mY FrieNd is MoRe vaLuaBle iN mY liFe thaN someOne staY bY siDe juSt fOr LoVe...iN WeN Be a CouPLe i thiNk..maYbe eaCh oF wE wiLL eaSiLy FeeL unTrusteD eVeN ThE pErsOn saY BeLiVed u oR wHteVr..buT tHe fEElinG oF unTrusTed, haTred, jeaLouS, tears anD more wiLL aLwyS disTuRb yoR eMotioNal riGht?...thT mY opiNioN!!!
Monday, February 28, 2011
Saturday, February 26, 2011
aNnyOng!!!
agaiN oNe beTteR daY aLreaDY pasT, buT aGaiN im juSt waste thE day....haisss~~~ riGhT noW i'M juSt repeatLy heaRd thE soNg 'iF u cOmE to mY heaRt'. thiS a FoLk soNg buT aLreadY upGraDe bE a nEw soNg. oh Ya, i reaLLy cuRiouS aBt soMetHinG TodaY...i JusT wonDer iF noW in thiS wOrLd thE CinDeraLLa sToRy oR anOthEr faiRy sTorY stiLL haPPenD iN soMeoNe LiFe????..whY i KeeP wOnDEriNg abouT thiS coZ, sOmetiMes wEN i HeaRd aBoUt aNoThEr PersOnaL StORy...sOMe oF tHeM haVe a siMiLaR sToRy buT iN thE miDDLe aNd aT tHe enD,cOmpLetLy DiFFereNT!!!!
i LoVe ReaD aLL FaiRy TaLe, EVeN i NeeD RepeTLy reaD aLL oF tHem, i StiLL caN reaD iT...bUt whAt a SeriOuS ProBLem i HaVe..is...i usuaLLy FoRgeT soME paRt oF thE sToRY weN i TrY tO reMembEr aBt thE sToRy baCk...aNd thaT'S whY to, i noT eVeN tRy tO drEam tO Be oNe oF tHe characTer. coZ sOmE oF tHe enDinG aNd LiFe stYLe thE chaRactEr haVe aBsoLuteLy contRaRy witH me. firsT aBoUt CinDerELLa LiFe...sHe waS aLwaYs beiNg BuLLeD bY hEr stEp moThEr anD sis....aNd sHe aLso liVe iN pOOr liFe..buT aCCtuaLLy sHe caN defend theiR rigHts!!! anD wHy sHe sHouLd stAy iN eVerYoNe eYe as a WeaK persOn!!! auFfff~~~ hoW i CaN drEaM aBouT tO Be ciNdereLLA?...coZ tHaT hOw i AlWaYs fEEl aNd thiNk eveRytiMes i ReaD hEr sToRY...aNd OtHer oNe...SnoW whiTe sToRY...thiS sToRy soMetimEs tO mE a BiT siLLy,coZ hOw tHe qUeeN geT enVy wiTH aNoThEr pErsoN beauTy?..apaRt frOm thaT, tHe quEEN hV a MagiC poWeR, whY sHe didn'T uSe tHe magiC whiCh caN maKe heR moRe beautiFuL?....waaaaa~~~~ wHy im LiKe tHis tO!!!!
buT tHe StORy maKe mE moRe WoNdEr iS a LittLe mermaiD...coZ tHe LittLe mermaiD faLL iN LoVe wiTh tHe huMan aND aFtEr tHaT thE LittLe MermaiD staRt maKe a RequEsT to becOmE a humaN tO...buT tO bE huMaN LittLe mermaiD sHouLd faCe wiTh a SuffErinG LiFe anD tHe LittLe mermaiD shOuLd sacriFiCe tHe pErsOn sHe LoVe....buT aFtEr a haLf waY anD sHe nearLy bEcOmE a humAn sHe giVe uP anD juSt lEt thE persOn shE LovE gO maRRieD wiTh anoThEr huMan..anD wEn shE can See thE persOn shE loVe haVe a haPPinEss wiTh tHe pErsoN hE noT LoVe..tHe LittLe mermaiD caN stOP froM a SuffErinG aNd painess whiCh shE wiLL disppeaR witH a buBBles to tHe skY anD waitiNg to bE re-born as a huMaN beinG....hoW couLd haVe a sTorY LiKe thiS tO? it'S samE LiKe thE persoN sHe LoVe noT reaLLy loVe her coZ hoW couLd he can ShoW a haPPinEss wiTh soMeoNe hE noT loVe anD he reaLLy haTe befoRe?! aNd tHe LittLe mermaiD reaLLy suRe sHe wiLL re-BorN aS a HumaN?????
i MaY soUnD LiKe i OppOseD tO thE exiStEnce aLL thEse sTories rigHt? buT i didn'T meaN LikE thAT...thAt whaT i aLwayS thinkiNg acctUaLLy everytiMes i ReaD aLL tHe faiRY taLe...buT becaUse i'm liKe tHaT to, i sHouLd reAd repeaTLy aLL tHe stoRy baCk...noW i knOw a ReaSon whY i AlwaYs noT reMembeR soMe oF paRt iN tHe stoRy....thiS beCaUse i usuaLLy loSe foCuS cauSe iM busY wonDerinG thE sToRY aLoT tHaN i FiNisH aNd enjoyiNg tHe sToRy...wahahahahhahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!
Friday, February 25, 2011
mY haRd daY!!!
annYoNg!!!![]()
day by day aLreaDy pAst...buT i'M stiLL HeRe n DoiNg a saMe thiNg in my LifE...bE LoNeLy in OnE siDe...ReaLLY haRd foR me..coZ i'M noT a TyPe whO caN siT quiETLy iN oNe PLaCe aT LeasT LeT mE doiNg sOmEtHinG LiKE a DRaWiNg....seKaraNg sY terFiKir anD terTanYa whT eVerYoNE do? buT i'M suDdeNLy aNsWeriNg by myseLf...myB aDa anTarA Mereka yG sEdanG GemBirA Or BerSediH oN thiS tiMe riGhT?
haiss...kenApALaH sY raSaKan SekranG ni seMakiNg SukaR toK sY LaLu...i'M reaLLy waN goiNg sTudY agaiN!!! coZ EvErthiNg aFtEr WE doNe fRoM sTuDy...iT juST aLL abOuT MoNeY...eVerY waY,eVerYday MonEy! MoNeY! MoNey!!!....i dUnno wHaT kiNd a JoB sTuiaBLe fOR mE tO...buT iN tHe BoTToM oF mY hEarT..i'M reaLLy EnJoYing wEn i CaN EdiT sOmeThiNg..LiKe maKinG a ViDeo anD ediTiNg sOme piC!!! reaLLy AweSoMe!!! n LaTely i'M foUnD nEw attraction doiNg suBtiTLe fOR a SoME viDeO!!!!....buT i DuNNo hoW i caN reaLLy iNvoLvEd iN thiS fiELD..iF i caN coNtiNue mY sTudy aGaiN i HoPe i caN sTuDy aBoUt thiS fiELd..i WaN KnOw aLoT abOuT tHiS fiELd..coZ wEn i DoiNg EdiTiNg ViDeo oR doiNg maKe a SubTiTLe foR a soMe ViDeo i sEE a GLow..thAt ThE haPPiNess GLow anD maKe mE knOw mY liFe goaLs...apaRt frOm thaT..iM aLsO EnJoyiNG iN wRiTinG soMe sToRy..i haVe aLoT stOrY i'M doNe WriTiNg...buT i UsuaLLy LoSe tHe waY wHere i caN shaRe tHe sToRy coZ i'M reaLLy wOrrY iF soMeoNe ThinK tHe sToRy BoRed oR soMethiNg a uSelEss stOry oR maYbe doN'T hv aNyoN eto Read iT...im ReaLLy laCk a Confident to....
i kNoW i duN hV aLoT PerSoN suPPorT Me iN whaT im Interested doiNg noW..oR maYbE soMe oF thEM noT eVeN kNoW it. soMetiMes i FeeL LiKe whaT iM iNterested in juSt iM DreaMinG aboUt...i neaRlY giVe uP wEn i thiNk abOuT otHer pErsOn cRiticize abOuT iM inTerested abOut noW...buT wEn i oPeN mY LaPPy i thiNk i ReaLLy can't easiLy giVe up iN thiS fieLd to...wAaaaa!!!! tHat'S whY, i FeeL mY LiFe it's GoiNg hard!!!! every tiMes i oPeN mY LaPPy it saMe LiKe a sonG NaTaNa( aPpear oSt oF SeCreT gaRden) coMe iN mY miNd..sO hoW i caN leT oFf oF EveryThiNg!!!!!! oN thiS mOMenT i DuNNO wiTh whO i waN taLk anD gV Me a advice abOuT whaT i ShoULd do noW....aND i KnoW, iF soMeoNe doinG soMethiNg wiThoUt a bLeesiNg fRoM presEnT, it wiLL noT suCceeds!!!
hOw To maKe mY LiFe noT haRd aNYmoRe!!!!
day by day aLreaDy pAst...buT i'M stiLL HeRe n DoiNg a saMe thiNg in my LifE...bE LoNeLy in OnE siDe...ReaLLY haRd foR me..coZ i'M noT a TyPe whO caN siT quiETLy iN oNe PLaCe aT LeasT LeT mE doiNg sOmEtHinG LiKE a DRaWiNg....seKaraNg sY terFiKir anD terTanYa whT eVerYoNE do? buT i'M suDdeNLy aNsWeriNg by myseLf...myB aDa anTarA Mereka yG sEdanG GemBirA Or BerSediH oN thiS tiMe riGhT?
haiss...kenApALaH sY raSaKan SekranG ni seMakiNg SukaR toK sY LaLu...i'M reaLLy waN goiNg sTudY agaiN!!! coZ EvErthiNg aFtEr WE doNe fRoM sTuDy...iT juST aLL abOuT MoNeY...eVerY waY,eVerYday MonEy! MoNeY! MoNey!!!....i dUnno wHaT kiNd a JoB sTuiaBLe fOR mE tO...buT iN tHe BoTToM oF mY hEarT..i'M reaLLy EnJoYing wEn i CaN EdiT sOmeThiNg..LiKe maKinG a ViDeo anD ediTiNg sOme piC!!! reaLLy AweSoMe!!! n LaTely i'M foUnD nEw attraction doiNg suBtiTLe fOR a SoME viDeO!!!!....buT i DuNNo hoW i caN reaLLy iNvoLvEd iN thiS fiELD..iF i caN coNtiNue mY sTudy aGaiN i HoPe i caN sTuDy aBoUt thiS fiELd..i WaN KnOw aLoT abOuT tHiS fiELd..coZ wEn i DoiNg EdiTiNg ViDeo oR doiNg maKe a SubTiTLe foR a soMe ViDeo i sEE a GLow..thAt ThE haPPiNess GLow anD maKe mE knOw mY liFe goaLs...apaRt frOm thaT..iM aLsO EnJoyiNG iN wRiTinG soMe sToRy..i haVe aLoT stOrY i'M doNe WriTiNg...buT i UsuaLLy LoSe tHe waY wHere i caN shaRe tHe sToRy coZ i'M reaLLy wOrrY iF soMeoNe ThinK tHe sToRy BoRed oR soMethiNg a uSelEss stOry oR maYbe doN'T hv aNyoN eto Read iT...im ReaLLy laCk a Confident to....
i kNoW i duN hV aLoT PerSoN suPPorT Me iN whaT im Interested doiNg noW..oR maYbE soMe oF thEM noT eVeN kNoW it. soMetiMes i FeeL LiKe whaT iM iNterested in juSt iM DreaMinG aboUt...i neaRlY giVe uP wEn i thiNk abOuT otHer pErsOn cRiticize abOuT iM inTerested abOut noW...buT wEn i oPeN mY LaPPy i thiNk i ReaLLy can't easiLy giVe up iN thiS fieLd to...wAaaaa!!!! tHat'S whY, i FeeL mY LiFe it's GoiNg hard!!!! every tiMes i oPeN mY LaPPy it saMe LiKe a sonG NaTaNa( aPpear oSt oF SeCreT gaRden) coMe iN mY miNd..sO hoW i caN leT oFf oF EveryThiNg!!!!!! oN thiS mOMenT i DuNNO wiTh whO i waN taLk anD gV Me a advice abOuT whaT i ShoULd do noW....aND i KnoW, iF soMeoNe doinG soMethiNg wiThoUt a bLeesiNg fRoM presEnT, it wiLL noT suCceeds!!!
hOw To maKe mY LiFe noT haRd aNYmoRe!!!!
Saturday, February 19, 2011
sToRy i DiDn'T kNoW.....
aku pasti yg aku bergitu menyukai dan menyintainya sejak kali pertama aku melihatnya, ketika semua org menganggap aku spt bhn ketawa mrk, hny dia menghampiri aku dan menghulurkan tangan utk membantu aku, ini bkn kali pertama dia melakukan hal itu, ttp berkali-kali. disaat dia memberitahu aku yg dia suka bersama aku dan ketika dia menyatakan jika dia ingin menyanyi hny dgn aku dia akn lakukan hal itu. kata-kata itu bergitu tlh memgubah kehidupan aku dr sorg gds yg lemah dan mudah dibuli kpd yg lebih yakin akn diri sendiri...semua ini adlh krn die,ttp disaat aku bertemunya dan meluahkan perasaan aku sbnrnya pdnya bkn shj kwn ttp lebih dr itu,dia mula menjauhi aku dan sukar bg aku utk bertemu dgnnya,aku tdk pasti knp, dan mengapa dia bertindak sdmkian....dia tdk menjawab ya atau tdk jua bg jwpn aku ini...ttp aku masih menunggu di tempat yg sm aku melihatnya dgn hrpn dia akn berikan jwpn yg jelas....
shg pd satu hr, disbkan aku sering kali menunggu kehadirannya aku tlh jatuh sakit, dan apbl aku membuka mata, semua rakan aku ada disitu melawat aku, tp aku masih tdk melihat kelibatnya. airmata aku hampir menitis stp kali bayangan wajahnya muncul didlm stp mimpi aku. aku hampir hilang kawalan diri stp kali aku merinduinya. dan pd satu malam, ketika aku duduk ditepi tingkap dan menitiskan airmata,dia muncul dgn memegang bahu aku, aku hampir memeluknya ketika itu, aku bergitu merindui kehadiran ini. tp dia lngs tdk menoleh kpd aku, tdk berkata apa-apa selain drp dia menyatakan dia dtg bertemu aku krn dia rs bosan dan tiada apa yg dia nak buat selepas krj,kata-katanya mungkin terlalu kejam, ttp aku hny melemparkan senyuman pdnya dgn menyatakan kehadirannya kesini sdh ckp bg aku. aku jg meminta agr dia melupakan shj kata-kata aku kpdnya sblm ini, jwpn yg aku inginkan jg, aku tdk ingin lg dengar diketika itu. aku cuba kembali bemesra dgnnya ttp dia lngs tdk spt apa yg aku hrpkan itu. aku sememangnya keliru dan buntu knp keadaan ini berlaku dlm hubungan kami. sblm dia meninggalkan aku sekali lagi, dia meminta aku tdk meluahkan prsaan aku kpdnya lg dan dia jg tdk mahu aku menyalah anggap akn kebaikannya terhadap aku sblm ini, krn dia menyatakan apa yg dia lakukan kpd aku hnylah prsaan kesian dia terhadap aku, dan tdk prnh lebih dr itu. aku cb menahan airmata aku ketika kata-kata itu dilemparkan kpd aku dr mulutnya. sebaik dia berkata demikian,dia sgr melangkah prg, ttp aku hny menyatakan selamat tinggal kpdnya shj ketika itu bersama snyman. sebaik dia meninggalkan aku disitu, aku mula menangis dgn sesungguhnya spt sudah tiada esok lg bg aku ketika itu. kesakitan aku semakin bertambah-tambah..bagaikan sebijik peluru sdg menembusi diri aku ketika itu.
dlm keadaan sedemikian, aku sgr berlari keluar dr bilik tersenut dan cb mendapatkannya kembali krn aku masih tdk jelas dgn sgl cerita yg telah diciptanya atr aku sblm ini.aku berlari keluar tnp arah tuju sehingga disatu sudut, aku mengalah dan hny mampu terduduk dan menangis. dlm aku keadaan sedemikian,dia kembali dtg pd aku dan memeluk aku dr arah belakang, dia turut membisikkan kpd aku, bhw aku hrs berhenti dr bersikap demikian, dia jg meminta aku tdk menyintai dia sedemikian, sblm dia prg tnp membenarkan aku melihat pdnya, dia mencium dahi aku, dan dia prg utk selamanya.....wlpn aku menangis airmata darah sekalipun ketika itu, dia tdk akn kembali lg kpd aku.....
setelah bbrp tahun berlalu, aku masih tdk prh dpt melupakannya...kisah yg aku tdk tahu akn dirinya adlh, dia akn meninggalkan aku dan dunia ini slm-lamanya...sb itu...apa yg berlaku atr aku dgn dia, adlah pkr yg aku jg tdk ingin mengetahuinya lg....
-THE END-
Thursday, February 17, 2011
mY fiRtS LoVe wiLL diSpPeaR...
kehidupan aku hanya dipenuhi dgn keseronokan,stp malam aku akn keluar ke kelab malam wlpn aku masih di bawah umur utk ke tempat tersebut, tp disebabkan oleh pekerja disitu kwn aku, jd aku dpt masuk ke tempat tersebut dgn mudah.
pada suatu malam,semasa aku cuba mencari seseorang yang mampu mengembirakan aku pd malam tersebut, aku terlihat sorg gadis yg mempunyai wajah sedih disebalik senyumannya semasa berada di kelab malam tersebut. aku menghampirinya, aku duduk dibangku disebelahnya dan merenung kpdnya sambil aku tersenyum. dia hny membalas dgn jelingan dan menoleh ke arah lain ketika aku membuat sedemikian. tetapi tdk lama kemudian, dia kelihatan spt terkejut dan cuba menyembunyikan dirinya dr seseorg. dia sgr bangun dr bangkunya dan menyembunyi di belakang aku dia turut meminta aku agr melindunginya ketika itu. melihat gelagatnya aku tersenyum sendirian,dan dia masih berlindung dibelakang aku sehingga kami ke tempat yg sukar dilihat oleh org ramai. sebaik kami disitu dia mula sedar yg dia telah menggunakan aku dan dia kelihatan segan semasa cuba melihat pd aku, tetapi aku hny tersenyum kpd segala tindakannya itu. bermula saat itulah, aku mula mengenali dirinya.
pada suatu ptg semasa dia berada didlm sebuah kereta bersama bodyguardnya, aku yg sdg membawa motor lalu disebelahnya dan memberi isyarat kpdnya yg aku ingin bertemu dgnnya stlh lama kami tdk dpt bertemu. dan dia berjaya mengelirukan bodyguardnya dgn berpura ke tandas dan mengikut aku.hny melalui cr tersebut yg mampu menemukan aku dgn dia, ini krn dia sering dikawal ketat oleh bodyguard ahli keluarganya.
aku seronok dpt keluar dan menemaninya berjalan, melihat dia tersenyum dan sentiasa cb mengenali kehidupan aku, membuatkan aku kembali mengenali kebahagian stlh lama aku kehilangan perasaan tersebut. aku turut membawanya ke tempat dimana manjadi tempat tinggal aku. dia tdk henti-henti memuji dan melihat di sekeliling kawasan tersebut. dia turut ingin mencuba permainan yg aku main disitu juga. semasa aku bersamanya ditempat tersebut, aku sedar akn rakan perempuan sekolah aku telah melihat aku bersamanya disitu, wajah rakan aku kelihatan sedih, tetapi aku hny memberikan isyarat melalui mata aku,agr dia tdk menganggu dan beredar dr situ.
apabila aku merasakan hubungan aku dgnnya semakin mula serius,bodyguardnya telah berjaya menemui identiti aku disekolah aku. tanpa menyoalkan aku apa-apa dia hanya menarik aku keluar dr kelas aku, ketika aku cb memberhentikannya, dia memandang aku dgn pandangan yg tajam dan spt ingin aku berurusan dgnnya. aku menerima tawaran itu dan kami mula berbincang di tempat aku, dia meletakkan syarat kpd aku, jika aku mampu mengalahkannya, dia akn membiarkan aku berkawan dgn ank buah jagaannya itu, tetapi jika aku gagal aku harus memberhentikan dr bertemu dgnnya lg. aku menerima tawaran itu, tetapi akhirnya aku telah tewas olehnya, dan spt janji aku, aku harus berhenti dr bertemu dgnnya lg. aku sgt kecewa akn hal itu shg aku melepaskan marah dgn menumbuk-numbuk ke dinding. ketika rakan kelas aku menghampiri aku untuk membaluti luka ditangan aku,aku hny mampu melepaskan marah pdnya, krn aku menyangkakan dia yg telah menyatakan pertemuan aku kpd bodyguard dia krn dia prh melihat aku bersamanya. aku mehempas kerusi dihadapan rakan aku, dan ketika itu dia hny berdiri melihat aku sambil menangis spt meminta aku memberhentikan tuduhan aku kpdnya.
setelah sekian lama aku tdk bertemunya, semasa aku dtg ke tempat yg menjadi tempat tinggal aku dan kawan aku, aku melihat dia berada disitu, dan ketika aku mempersoalkan knp dia dtg kesini, dia hny menyatakan yg dia ingin bertemu aku.aku cb menahan diri aku dr menjadi lembut terhadapnya, lantas aku menghampirinya dan menarik tangannya utk meminta dia prg dr situ, tetapi dia bekeras utk tdk mahu prg dan dia turut membuat permintaan kpd aku yg dia ingin aku membawanya dgn motorsikal aku. aku menunaikan permintaannya itu. semasa kami di ats motorsikal, dia memeluk aku dgn erat spt tdk ingin melepaskan aku stlh aku bersikap kasar dan dingin pdnya sbg janji aku kpd bodyguardnya. ketika apa yg dilakukannya itu, aku bergitu sekali ingin membiarkan keadaan itu trs berkekalan, tp aku pasti, aku tdk akn dpt melindunginya dgn sebaiknya jika dia bersama aku.jd secara senyap-senyap, aku telah menghubungi bodyguardnya utk meminta mengambil semula dia.sebaik aku membuat panggilan dan kembali ke motorsikal aku, aku melihat dia sudah tiada. aku hny mampu mengeluh dan merasakan pertemuan itu tadi, adalah pertemu kami yg terakhir.
sejak dr hari itu juga, aku tdk lagi bertemu dan mendengar berita akn dirinya lagi, aku tdk pasti kemana dia berada atau apa yg sedang dia lakukan ketika ini. wlpn aku kembali ke tempat kali pertama aku bertemunya,aku masih tdk dpt bertemunya. saat itu aku pasti dia mungkin telah menemui jalan hidup dia yg sebenar.sesekali airmt aku yg menitis stp kali aku menunggang motorsikal aku sendiri, aku pasti akn mengingati cinta pertama aku yg penuh ketewasan utk aku miliki selamanya ini...
-THE END-
pada suatu malam,semasa aku cuba mencari seseorang yang mampu mengembirakan aku pd malam tersebut, aku terlihat sorg gadis yg mempunyai wajah sedih disebalik senyumannya semasa berada di kelab malam tersebut. aku menghampirinya, aku duduk dibangku disebelahnya dan merenung kpdnya sambil aku tersenyum. dia hny membalas dgn jelingan dan menoleh ke arah lain ketika aku membuat sedemikian. tetapi tdk lama kemudian, dia kelihatan spt terkejut dan cuba menyembunyikan dirinya dr seseorg. dia sgr bangun dr bangkunya dan menyembunyi di belakang aku dia turut meminta aku agr melindunginya ketika itu. melihat gelagatnya aku tersenyum sendirian,dan dia masih berlindung dibelakang aku sehingga kami ke tempat yg sukar dilihat oleh org ramai. sebaik kami disitu dia mula sedar yg dia telah menggunakan aku dan dia kelihatan segan semasa cuba melihat pd aku, tetapi aku hny tersenyum kpd segala tindakannya itu. bermula saat itulah, aku mula mengenali dirinya.
pada suatu ptg semasa dia berada didlm sebuah kereta bersama bodyguardnya, aku yg sdg membawa motor lalu disebelahnya dan memberi isyarat kpdnya yg aku ingin bertemu dgnnya stlh lama kami tdk dpt bertemu. dan dia berjaya mengelirukan bodyguardnya dgn berpura ke tandas dan mengikut aku.hny melalui cr tersebut yg mampu menemukan aku dgn dia, ini krn dia sering dikawal ketat oleh bodyguard ahli keluarganya.
aku seronok dpt keluar dan menemaninya berjalan, melihat dia tersenyum dan sentiasa cb mengenali kehidupan aku, membuatkan aku kembali mengenali kebahagian stlh lama aku kehilangan perasaan tersebut. aku turut membawanya ke tempat dimana manjadi tempat tinggal aku. dia tdk henti-henti memuji dan melihat di sekeliling kawasan tersebut. dia turut ingin mencuba permainan yg aku main disitu juga. semasa aku bersamanya ditempat tersebut, aku sedar akn rakan perempuan sekolah aku telah melihat aku bersamanya disitu, wajah rakan aku kelihatan sedih, tetapi aku hny memberikan isyarat melalui mata aku,agr dia tdk menganggu dan beredar dr situ.
apabila aku merasakan hubungan aku dgnnya semakin mula serius,bodyguardnya telah berjaya menemui identiti aku disekolah aku. tanpa menyoalkan aku apa-apa dia hanya menarik aku keluar dr kelas aku, ketika aku cb memberhentikannya, dia memandang aku dgn pandangan yg tajam dan spt ingin aku berurusan dgnnya. aku menerima tawaran itu dan kami mula berbincang di tempat aku, dia meletakkan syarat kpd aku, jika aku mampu mengalahkannya, dia akn membiarkan aku berkawan dgn ank buah jagaannya itu, tetapi jika aku gagal aku harus memberhentikan dr bertemu dgnnya lg. aku menerima tawaran itu, tetapi akhirnya aku telah tewas olehnya, dan spt janji aku, aku harus berhenti dr bertemu dgnnya lg. aku sgt kecewa akn hal itu shg aku melepaskan marah dgn menumbuk-numbuk ke dinding. ketika rakan kelas aku menghampiri aku untuk membaluti luka ditangan aku,aku hny mampu melepaskan marah pdnya, krn aku menyangkakan dia yg telah menyatakan pertemuan aku kpd bodyguard dia krn dia prh melihat aku bersamanya. aku mehempas kerusi dihadapan rakan aku, dan ketika itu dia hny berdiri melihat aku sambil menangis spt meminta aku memberhentikan tuduhan aku kpdnya.
setelah sekian lama aku tdk bertemunya, semasa aku dtg ke tempat yg menjadi tempat tinggal aku dan kawan aku, aku melihat dia berada disitu, dan ketika aku mempersoalkan knp dia dtg kesini, dia hny menyatakan yg dia ingin bertemu aku.aku cb menahan diri aku dr menjadi lembut terhadapnya, lantas aku menghampirinya dan menarik tangannya utk meminta dia prg dr situ, tetapi dia bekeras utk tdk mahu prg dan dia turut membuat permintaan kpd aku yg dia ingin aku membawanya dgn motorsikal aku. aku menunaikan permintaannya itu. semasa kami di ats motorsikal, dia memeluk aku dgn erat spt tdk ingin melepaskan aku stlh aku bersikap kasar dan dingin pdnya sbg janji aku kpd bodyguardnya. ketika apa yg dilakukannya itu, aku bergitu sekali ingin membiarkan keadaan itu trs berkekalan, tp aku pasti, aku tdk akn dpt melindunginya dgn sebaiknya jika dia bersama aku.jd secara senyap-senyap, aku telah menghubungi bodyguardnya utk meminta mengambil semula dia.sebaik aku membuat panggilan dan kembali ke motorsikal aku, aku melihat dia sudah tiada. aku hny mampu mengeluh dan merasakan pertemuan itu tadi, adalah pertemu kami yg terakhir.
sejak dr hari itu juga, aku tdk lagi bertemu dan mendengar berita akn dirinya lagi, aku tdk pasti kemana dia berada atau apa yg sedang dia lakukan ketika ini. wlpn aku kembali ke tempat kali pertama aku bertemunya,aku masih tdk dpt bertemunya. saat itu aku pasti dia mungkin telah menemui jalan hidup dia yg sebenar.sesekali airmt aku yg menitis stp kali aku menunggang motorsikal aku sendiri, aku pasti akn mengingati cinta pertama aku yg penuh ketewasan utk aku miliki selamanya ini...
-THE END-
Saturday, February 12, 2011
tO: mY aSSistant
annYonG~~
TodaY mYb a TiriNg daY i Hv...eVn hoW, ToDaY aLrdY pasT...buT im ReaLizEd soMetHg wRoNg tOwaRds mY fEeLinG whIcH i ALwyS FeeL emPtY bEfOre..ThS FeeLinG...i thiNks..tHs feeLinG coMe tO me aFtR i FiniSh mY stuDY...i WonDer whY aLoT...wHicH paRt mK iT worse LiKe thS??? i woNder...buT toDay in The tiRinG daY i HV..wHeN i c TWO friEnd mEEt aGn toDay..tHey huG tiGhTLy inTo eaCh oTher..aNd tHeY staRt tO shAre tHey'r oWn Life...whT thy do?whC thR leaVe noW..n MorE..waTchiNg thE sCene..i SuddEnLy asKinG mySeLf.. 'i Hv a FriEnd wHc i caN't saY thE reaL woRd tOwarDs tHe persOn'..n i sigh... and wHeN i bacK tO mY hOmE AFtR a tirinG daY..when i laY oN my bEd,i QuiCkLy faLL aSleEp
N aFtR tHt i SerIouSLy FaLL iN deeP dreAmLanD..
iN my DreaM..i MeeT aLL mY FriEnd buT i can't see u..EvRyOnE tHr..wE enJoY ToGetHer..pLay, cHat n ShaRe EvRyThg..n ThE teaRs tO...buT seCretLy iN tHe paRty..i duNNo wHy i cRy seCretLy iN tHe daRk aLLeY..iT saMe LiKe a CrZY ThG i DoiNg iN mY LiFe..CoZ I cRy buT i can'T saY anYtHg n weN eVryOnE aSK me wHy im cRy..i can'T TeLL a GooD exCuSe to.....
mY LiFe ReaLLy haRd withoUt the PerSoN aCtLy, eVn i eaSiLY diSLiKe sOMe of tHe pErSoN BehaVioR...tHe pErsOn...jSt stAy bY my siDe as tHe persOn caN...yuP,i can't denied whicH mY behaViOr i gv tHe persOn n wHt tHe persOn saW...iT's ThE reaL mE...siNce i meeT tHe persOn..I aLrdY mK a ProMise tO mk u stay bY mY siDe to as my FrieNd...buT i nvR tOLd u tHt riTe?..i can't i dOn'T knW hOw tO starT iT...but wItHouT saY anYtHg u saMe CLeaR aBt me..u aLwyS remind me whT i forgeT..coZ iM a kinD a PersOn aLwyS fOrGet SomEthG iMportAnT aNd duNNo hV tO aRRangEd EvrythG RiTe..u maKe iT tO me...u A PersOn WhO sUppOrT mE aLot..wHen i caMe as a strange person in aNotHer person Eye..mY iNteresTiNg,my waY n ThE waY i thInk qbsOluTelY diFfereNt LiKe aNoTher pErsoN,im saMe LiKe hV a oWN PLaNeT riTe? bUt hOw U caN ThrOugh mY PLaNet? U LiKe a mY taiLs sOmEtiMe..coZ wHr i bE tHr u AlWyS ThR tO..AnD mYb iN oThR persOn eYe thiNk tHt im LiKE buLLy u..bUt i DuNNo hOw thS aLL HaPPend...
iM reaLLy a baD pErsoN u KnW accTLy..i caN't hanDLe mY eMotioN tO u wEN sOmeThg HaPpend BtW us..i NvR asK u wHt u doiNg tHT oR it's tht TrUe?....i JsT staRt ThE FiGhT wiThoUt thiNk aBt aNotHr effEct..yUp,aGn i denied iT, u a tiReD PersOn i waN ProTect...i DuNnO hOw muCH TeaRs CaMe oUt eVryTms wE iN tRoUbLe..n i HaTe ThE caLm faCe u sHoW evrytMs wE figHt tO...U tHe oNe pErsOn whC i aLwyS nEEd starT tO taLk agN afTr wE figHt...sOmEtMs i boRed iN thS siTuatIoN..iT'S samE LiKe jsT iM tHe One wHO maKe a EffoRt tO baCK tO u...becoZ of ThT to iM staRt tO hOlD aLL mY tEarS weN soMetHg baD haPPenD agN bTw Us N mY LiFe...
iM sO soRrY coz i ReaLLy duNNo tO saY a woRd tO u n aLL mY frienD BY mY sIde...i jSt caN sHoW hoW muCh i caRe abT U wiTh hurtiNg u n MK sOmE eFfort tO u hate Me...eVeN noW i can't saY aNytHg...i HoPe iF u read thS dOn'T qUestioN aBt friEnD WE hV...n i HoPe u caN kEEP tHe memOrY i gV u As yoR fRieNd iN thS firsT PlaCe...buT pLs don't saY aNytHg abT thS iN fronT Of ME..I KnoW wVryThg...buT i can'T saY it..N i knW u caN UnderstAnD iT cLearLy tO rIte?.....oh ya, OUR liFe reaLLy GoiNg harD daY bY daY now...eSPcLy tO Me...iF u miNd? dO u waN bE mY assistant agN *hahahaha* (tHt wHt i aLwYs caLL u rite)
frOm: tHe PersOn withoUt word..
TodaY mYb a TiriNg daY i Hv...eVn hoW, ToDaY aLrdY pasT...buT im ReaLizEd soMetHg wRoNg tOwaRds mY fEeLinG whIcH i ALwyS FeeL emPtY bEfOre..ThS FeeLinG...i thiNks..tHs feeLinG coMe tO me aFtR i FiniSh mY stuDY...i WonDer whY aLoT...wHicH paRt mK iT worse LiKe thS??? i woNder...buT toDay in The tiRinG daY i HV..wHeN i c TWO friEnd mEEt aGn toDay..tHey huG tiGhTLy inTo eaCh oTher..aNd tHeY staRt tO shAre tHey'r oWn Life...whT thy do?whC thR leaVe noW..n MorE..waTchiNg thE sCene..i SuddEnLy asKinG mySeLf.. 'i Hv a FriEnd wHc i caN't saY thE reaL woRd tOwarDs tHe persOn'..n i sigh... and wHeN i bacK tO mY hOmE AFtR a tirinG daY..when i laY oN my bEd,i QuiCkLy faLL aSleEp
N aFtR tHt i SerIouSLy FaLL iN deeP dreAmLanD..iN my DreaM..i MeeT aLL mY FriEnd buT i can't see u..EvRyOnE tHr..wE enJoY ToGetHer..pLay, cHat n ShaRe EvRyThg..n ThE teaRs tO...buT seCretLy iN tHe paRty..i duNNo wHy i cRy seCretLy iN tHe daRk aLLeY..iT saMe LiKe a CrZY ThG i DoiNg iN mY LiFe..CoZ I cRy buT i can'T saY anYtHg n weN eVryOnE aSK me wHy im cRy..i can'T TeLL a GooD exCuSe to.....
mY LiFe ReaLLy haRd withoUt the PerSoN aCtLy, eVn i eaSiLY diSLiKe sOMe of tHe pErSoN BehaVioR...tHe pErsOn...jSt stAy bY my siDe as tHe persOn caN...yuP,i can't denied whicH mY behaViOr i gv tHe persOn n wHt tHe persOn saW...iT's ThE reaL mE...siNce i meeT tHe persOn..I aLrdY mK a ProMise tO mk u stay bY mY siDe to as my FrieNd...buT i nvR tOLd u tHt riTe?..i can't i dOn'T knW hOw tO starT iT...but wItHouT saY anYtHg u saMe CLeaR aBt me..u aLwyS remind me whT i forgeT..coZ iM a kinD a PersOn aLwyS fOrGet SomEthG iMportAnT aNd duNNo hV tO aRRangEd EvrythG RiTe..u maKe iT tO me...u A PersOn WhO sUppOrT mE aLot..wHen i caMe as a strange person in aNotHer person Eye..mY iNteresTiNg,my waY n ThE waY i thInk qbsOluTelY diFfereNt LiKe aNoTher pErsoN,im saMe LiKe hV a oWN PLaNeT riTe? bUt hOw U caN ThrOugh mY PLaNet? U LiKe a mY taiLs sOmEtiMe..coZ wHr i bE tHr u AlWyS ThR tO..AnD mYb iN oThR persOn eYe thiNk tHt im LiKE buLLy u..bUt i DuNNo hOw thS aLL HaPPend...
iM reaLLy a baD pErsoN u KnW accTLy..i caN't hanDLe mY eMotioN tO u wEN sOmeThg HaPpend BtW us..i NvR asK u wHt u doiNg tHT oR it's tht TrUe?....i JsT staRt ThE FiGhT wiThoUt thiNk aBt aNotHr effEct..yUp,aGn i denied iT, u a tiReD PersOn i waN ProTect...i DuNnO hOw muCH TeaRs CaMe oUt eVryTms wE iN tRoUbLe..n i HaTe ThE caLm faCe u sHoW evrytMs wE figHt tO...U tHe oNe pErsOn whC i aLwyS nEEd starT tO taLk agN afTr wE figHt...sOmEtMs i boRed iN thS siTuatIoN..iT'S samE LiKe jsT iM tHe One wHO maKe a EffoRt tO baCK tO u...becoZ of ThT to iM staRt tO hOlD aLL mY tEarS weN soMetHg baD haPPenD agN bTw Us N mY LiFe...
iM sO soRrY coz i ReaLLy duNNo tO saY a woRd tO u n aLL mY frienD BY mY sIde...i jSt caN sHoW hoW muCh i caRe abT U wiTh hurtiNg u n MK sOmE eFfort tO u hate Me...eVeN noW i can't saY aNytHg...i HoPe iF u read thS dOn'T qUestioN aBt friEnD WE hV...n i HoPe u caN kEEP tHe memOrY i gV u As yoR fRieNd iN thS firsT PlaCe...buT pLs don't saY aNytHg abT thS iN fronT Of ME..I KnoW wVryThg...buT i can'T saY it..N i knW u caN UnderstAnD iT cLearLy tO rIte?.....oh ya, OUR liFe reaLLy GoiNg harD daY bY daY now...eSPcLy tO Me...iF u miNd? dO u waN bE mY assistant agN *hahahaha* (tHt wHt i aLwYs caLL u rite)
frOm: tHe PersOn withoUt word..
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
aNnYouNg~~~~
wOw...i miSsssssss mA BLoG aLot...sO LoNg tiMe i Didn'T poSt anYtHg nEw Here..coZ i DiDn'T kNow wHt i ShLd wriTe aBt...sO i'm BaCK noW agN
nOw aLrdY FeBrUaRy 2011..buT i ThoUgh tHt iM sTiLL duNNo whT i ShLd do iN ma LiFe...i LoVe doiNg sOMe ediTiNg iN VideO Or MaKiNg sOMe ViDeo...n i hoPe oNe daY i Can InVoLvEd iN EnTeRtaiMenT wOrLd wHc i can ProDuCed a sTOrY aNd OtHer...buT i KnOw...theRe aRe MaNY wHo DO noT KnOw AbT mY iNterEst in ThS...wHt caN i Do..
buT dePlY iN mA hEarT i sTiLL eaSiLY GiVe-uP iN wHt i Interest...i HoPe the daY WiLL CoMe to Me aNd i WiLL hOLd iT tigHtLy!!!!! ya!! FigHtiNggggg!!!!!
haisss~~~ i ReaLLy duNNo whT i SHLD wRiTe aBt noW...huMMmm...
so BeTter i StOp HeRe riTe...haiss..oK da~~~
wOw...i miSsssssss mA BLoG aLot...sO LoNg tiMe i Didn'T poSt anYtHg nEw Here..coZ i DiDn'T kNow wHt i ShLd wriTe aBt...sO i'm BaCK noW agN
nOw aLrdY FeBrUaRy 2011..buT i ThoUgh tHt iM sTiLL duNNo whT i ShLd do iN ma LiFe...i LoVe doiNg sOMe ediTiNg iN VideO Or MaKiNg sOMe ViDeo...n i hoPe oNe daY i Can InVoLvEd iN EnTeRtaiMenT wOrLd wHc i can ProDuCed a sTOrY aNd OtHer...buT i KnOw...theRe aRe MaNY wHo DO noT KnOw AbT mY iNterEst in ThS...wHt caN i Do..buT dePlY iN mA hEarT i sTiLL eaSiLY GiVe-uP iN wHt i Interest...i HoPe the daY WiLL CoMe to Me aNd i WiLL hOLd iT tigHtLy!!!!! ya!! FigHtiNggggg!!!!!
haisss~~~ i ReaLLy duNNo whT i SHLD wRiTe aBt noW...huMMmm...
so BeTter i StOp HeRe riTe...haiss..oK da~~~
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