do u relized who someone u call FRIEND acctually?....but for me, i belived on them who the person i call FRIEND in my life, i also belived they will not betray me anymor, evn i alredy feel when our best friend betray use. wen the person i belived do tht, i almost gv up on my way to be someone be loyal with friend n be nice to the person name FRIEND. evrydy my tears fall like a heavy raining day, evn i try to stop the tear, the tear never listen to our command, and our heart also feel like stabbed by knife. when im in ths situation, i finally found someone really can mak eme relief, evn fro a first time i still feel worry and scared to start a new friendship but i knw i shld face it's one day...the person absolutely different from the way i stand, but smile,laugh and tears the person hv n i share, suddenly change my way to gv a space...n i try to hold it as i can, but agn, the happiness we hv not same like can stay longer..i start learn hv to appreciate someone call FRIEND which i choose to not let the person hurt more evn hv alot rumors comes, i still support the person from behind...bcoz of ths, i still can be with the person until now.
our life same like circle n also not as easy as we tought, day by day we will face a new life waiting for use...in second stage, our life be more challeging. on ths time, i also worry to face it, coz im jst let myslf stay in one place n nvr wan to upgrade it. but the situation n experience i face, show me n teach me. i can't stand if i jst alone in the world, it's hard for me to accptd new person as my friend, mny thg i worry abt if i wan find new person in my life. frst i will worry abt 'can someone accptd me in ths way?' 'i thy look at me n think abt me?', all the question keep playing in my mind. and the end, someone who i hate the most n alwys feel like the oerson so annoying, be my friend. bcoz i didn't wan upgrade myslf as well as i can, i alwys hv alot negative thinking abt someone, n wht i can do jst treat them in the way who i am. be rude,shouting n also jst following my heart n not thinking abt another feeling mk me more strong. the most thng i start to hate on ths time, is a tears..i dunno how mch i hate tears. wen someone cry, i start feel mad n gv mny excuss to avoid thm. the sad story thy hv, also mk me don't stop irrated. all the negative thg start control myslf...it's same like i didn't belived in othr person. wen someone come to me, i dunno how mch strong the person to face myslf like tht, try to undstnd me,talk in polite to me n also helping me alot. to cover my true feeling i pretend like don't care wht thy do, i dunno wht in thy eye look at me. since the person start know me well, i agn start worry,worry abt thy will be knw abt my past n my real self. agn i be hard in my way....coz the person like tht, i end the end gv up on myslf, n slowly start to accpt the person n mk a promise. until now i will be like u knw me, but i dun wan revealed my way,heart,mind n soul to othr person like tht..
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