What Happened To mE????

Annyong ^^… It’s really a long time I didn’t write anything at my blog…but now I really missed it a lot <3 …… 2012,now leave me….so many memory I leave too……now 2013,I dunno why I still stand at same spot….when I look at all my friend,I realized how much life change they are than me. Everyone already have a right goal to achieve……but me really confused,that I’m already stand at a right goal? Because of that,now I feel that I’m more fine and comfortable when I just stay at my room alone and sit infront my lappy writing something. I can create something happily and share with everyone I dunno there. I still fine to meet anyone outside my room,cause I can still play a role as human. I know that I always think negative everytime I meet someone now,but I can control it well to stay what I think only at my mind. I always heard someone told me that I’m cheerful type person when they are meet me for a first time,yup I thankful for the person say me like that. This year I dunno why I just think that is okay if I could make anyone know me and around me happy,always put a smile when talk to me and share a problem with me…….my world going so weird and little bit dark inside here,why I’m like this? I really dunno why….before I could control my tears fallen,but now I realized I really become a hard human to cry or feel sad about something,even I watch a sad story,I couldn’t….i worry if one day I lost my happiness and I being more hard person than now. Looking at a time past it’s same like a nothing to me now….what happened to me??? I dunno if I ruined my life or what…or maybe I give up???? I dun have a answer to myself sometime….i have thought before if I could be invisible if I stand at around person,maybe it’s more fine to me right?......oh ya,I forget about sometime that make me more fine this year….kid,when I play around with them,I thought that how much fun if I could become like them back….freely to do anything and also don’t need to worry about anything….how cute when see the kid run freely and doing just think about to play only….that’s why kid always got special treatment from adults….everytime I scream to kid who do wrong,they are just start cry before I really punish them…and because of that,I can’t do anything but just keep mad with my mouth….haisss…if I could doing a same thing like them,could I will fine now??????? I wonder how much longer I will stand like this…….to my postmen heaven,i'm so sorry....(TT_TT)