WhalE bacK to the An OceaN

i dunno y lately just become more worse for me.i can't handle everything now. to become strong person, really hard. i trying hold in all thing....but i lost it one by one. the most thing i lost is love. the person which always make me to care him and the person who always make my heartbeat fast just not anymore i could handle it while i trying protect my friendship. i could't cry as i can anymore now. if i know i just lost both of them, i will not trying hard like this. i though while i protect my friendship, that person will give me a chance to waiting but it's not like that anymore. now dunno who i can blame....dunno who i begging for....and dunno i could hold anymore..... i just back to basic again......it's same like i just got bump with something in ma head and i lost ma memory. tears also cant solve everything now....i become like a insane but i cant. smile....it's a fake smiling to other now. nothing going right anymore.....but i just still can hold with what still leave with ma heart....give up.....i dunno....really dunno....it's also same like a whale which back to the an ocean after a long journey in beach....dun ask me to cry to decrease ma burden now....dun also ask me to lend on anyone....i can't....it's really hurting like i'm dead but still wander around...just kill me directly...dun use poison like this,cause it's make me suffering alot!!