annyoung^^

haisss....why i still feel like not satisfied abt wht i heard from my friend bfr?....(TT__TT). when i heard wht she told me the true abt why she nvr try to contact me aftr we done school, i still feel sad abt it. it's same like thy thought im the one blame n worse for them...yup, i deny it, i really a bad person to thm call me friend on tht time, but i try hard to not let u go.....as i can....
even i called u friend n heard evryone story, i still feel i dun wan let u more burdend abt wht im really feel, do u know how much afraid im when with u. the one who told abt she could forgive me whn i non-stop talk abt how my friendshp with the person i jst meet in 3 month more meaning thn u...it's wrong, bfr we end our school, u the one alrdy leave me alone, whn i need u, u not here, but i keep trying to avoiding abt bad feeling, i knw i still hv anothr friend by myside now...do u knw,how we end? do u know i really wan talk nicely with u bfr i go? but we jst talk by phone n jst meet whn we want or somthg important to do.....i couldn't tell anyone, so i busying myself with anothr friend problem.
the one didn't tell abt she also feel worse abt me, i knw she feel the same towards me to. but, u really good to me until the end im at school, since i be close with u, i alwys feel like someone watch our frndship bhnd, evn i hold u hand, listen wht u story, i still feel burdend with the gaze. i can't tell u abt tht person alrdy spread a bad rumors bhnd me, so bhnd u i shld sttle it with tht person. i doing it bhnd u bcoz i really don wan hurting u, cz i know u alrdy hurting more frm tht person.....but i also knw if u knowing abt wht im doing u will more hurting thn tht person doing right?...but i hope u dun worry, coz wht tht person desired, i nvr try to let it get, i jst make the plan tht person want being delay.....and also i knw the weakness of tht person, she will try treat evryone to come her side with money or thg...how i can do, i love thg like tht, but i couldn't let u hurting my friend anymore even tht person say u the first person be her friend bfr me n she knw u well. i dun think tht person knw u well as i do....????. but i can't start say anythg to u all. u jst keep it, coz i knw if i try told u all the true u still can't belived it right? myb u all jst think tht's jst excussed right? or myb more....i really can't say anythg even now........

abt a 3 month friend i knw n non-stop talk abt, with thm i learn how to step forward with my friend, i wan be a open minded person with u, i learn evrythg n pratice well with 3 month friend thr. whn i bck to u, i try doing evrythg with u all,do u know, the skinship, the way we share problm, not betray anyone, crying, happy, and more expression in frindshp will make we more close?....but we didn't hv change like tht, if evrone jst go n didn't try to fix the hole inside evryone heart well....deep in my heart, i dun miss abt the person 3 month thr as mch as i miss u all forever in my life, but i miss the way frndshp we build thr...n i really hope i could do it with u all, but nothg i can do coz i jst make u put in weak situation n thought tht jst i to proud abt 3 month friend well thn u all....i alrdy heard it from someone abt tht actly.....whn i meet u all, i dunno how mch happiness whole my day, evn i couldn't me u all, jst one @ two of u, it's enough to make me smile n talk abt u with new person i meet.....

story abt our firendship, i alwys bring it evryway actly, but how can i tell ths to u????....i also don't hv any strength to argue abt frndshp btw us anymor....coz person who knw me, we also knw u all, cz i nvr stop share abt scool life, n some of thm proud abt our life u knw....thy alwsy say "waaaa, how amzg u hv tht kind of scool life with wonderful friend" heard tht i jst can smile brightly......but im little bit disspointed whn i heard evrythg frm your mouth...on tht time whn i heard u say u avoiding me coz of tht problm, i jst freeze a while n couldn't say anythg...i jst accpt it. yup, i can accpt it, but lil disspointed, coz u easily can say abt u hate the the most abt me, but i couldn't...i really couldn't do tht....coz since i meet u all, i alrdy promise to protect u all thn my family...n friend alwys first in my life!!!! evn i will hurting my family members, i couldn't do anythg abt ths feeling to, i don't want lie to myslf and hurting alone coz of ths.....

so forgive me if u see me as bad friend u know in yor life.....

to my heaven posmen---------> i still hope thy will not knw ths until now, cz i don't mind if thy'r wan say wht thy want, if tht will make thy more happy, i will fine....i will accpt it, coz i jst wan protect thm well...and dun wan thm hurting agn....how mch hard thy'r life being..evn im the last one knw evrythg too, i will still hold thm tightly in my life until i close my eyes......
yah! do u hv any close friend thn me? do u hv a nice memory at scool? or myb u nvr go to scool? kikikikikikikiki~~~~ i didn't mean to hurting u, but i also curious abt your live my dear Heaven Posmen...whrevr u r, or wht u doing rght now i hope u don't mind k^^ i also the one of your friend k, so u not alone right? coz evrytm i hv a time i will share all my story with u.....ummmmm.....friend..aufffff...now i relief aftr share it with u ^^ TQ~~~~ Q(^__^Q)